Man Church has been asked to help serve concessions at the Fall Festival next Friday night, 10/23. We need 30 men who will come and work, probably from 5:00 p.m. until it's over (maybe two shifts of 15, - one set-up and work 1/2, the other work 1/2 and cleanup.

If you can PLEASE be one of these heros, would you contact us immediately? Contact either (or both) gbeech@mac.com or Lance Chisholm at triple_net@hotmail.com

Who needs Man Church? The simple answer would be something trite, like, "All men need Man Church." That just sounds so generic, so bland that it is the opposite of our Man Church style. Man Church is real - it's direct - it's a little funny mixed with in-your-face. With that in mind, for the first time ever, Man Church will name some actual people who really need Man Church. If you don't see your name here, come anyway. If you do see your name, you HAVE TO BE AT MAN CHURCH, TOMORROW NIGHT (WEDNESDAY, 10/14):

Jacob, Michael, Ethan, Josh, Daniel, Alex, Anthony, William, Chris, Matthew, Andrew, Joseph, David, Noah, James, Ryan, Logan, John, Nathan, Christian, Ben, John, Tyler, Sam, Nicholas, Dylan, Jack, Brandon, Evan, Jack, Kevin, Jose, Luke, Landon, Justin, Zachary, Jordan, Robert, Aaron, Tom, Hunter, Austin, Connor, Jason, Wyatt, Charles, Carter, Juan, Chase, Adam, Henry, Bryan, Sean, Cole, Alex, Eric, Brian, Kyle, Tommy, Harvey, Tim, Barry, Russ, Brad, Lance, Bill, Brad, Steve, Scott and Gary.

Seriously, if your name is listed above, you really need Man Church. The rest of us do, too, but not as bad.

There are three things you never want to hear from your doctor:

1) It's my first day as a doctor.

2) I'm legally blind without my glasses.

3) I never lost a malpractice cast - yet.

We have a family friend who doesn't go to church, because church people are all hypocrites. Duh! Of course we're all hypocrites. We don't go to church because we're perfect. We go to church because we're screwed up. All of us. That's especially true of Man Church. The thing that makes it great is that we can all admit we have issues. I don't care who you are, you have issues. And if you say you don't, then your ego and sense of self-righteousness is your biggest issue.

This month, we deal with issues. So, bring yours, and get ready to face it. It's not hard, and you don't have to be afraid.

Nate Larkin, author of Samson and the Pirate Monks is our guest speaker, and he's good. Really good. Burgers at 6:00; Man Church at 6:56.

"The Inside Scoop"

By Greg Beauchamp

Many of you have expressed interest in knowing "The Inside Scoop." What really happens behind the scenes at Man Church? How are decisions made? What are some of the funny things that happen that no one knows about?

Against my better judgement, and against the advice of my closest personal advisors, I will oblige. Here's what happens...NOTHING. The fact that Man Church happens at all is a minor miracle. That's not really true, but I get way more credit than I deserve.

For instance, last month, Steve Stroope, Pastor of LakePointe Church was the speaker. But the speaker was supposed to be Bill Cosby. We thought that he would be a nice surprise to kick off Man Church season three. Unfortunately, Mr. Cosby was unable to attend. It appears he's "too busy" to come to Man Church, even though we didn't actually even ask him, and could never afford him. So, Steve went ahead and spoke. He did a great job...probably better than Bill Cosby would have done, but Cosby would have been funnier. He's a professional comedian, for goodness sake. You see, my plan was to ask Steve to speak, then, at the last minute, call him to say, "Steve, you'll never believe this, but Bill Cosby will come and speak for free at Man Church." I suspected that Steve, being an humble guy, would graciously back out. But when Bill never showed, I just went ahead and let Steve speak. Those are some behind-the-scenes facts no one would have even guessed. But, hey, Man Church is REAL, you know what I mean? We tell it like it is, baby!

Last May, Wes Hamilton spoke when George Bush, the former president just failed to even call and say he wouldn't be with us. While we never got around to inviting the former president, it would have been nice for him to at least call. So, Wes spoke, instead, and did good. Not quite a household name like George Bush, but at least Wes is reliable!

In November, I'm pretty sure that Josh Hamilton or Tim Tebow will be speaking. I promise that if one of them shows up and says, "Can I speak at Man Church," we'll be ready to say, "Of course - we expected you!" I would never in a million years ask Josh or Tim (one's still playing - one's through for the year). I guess it's being authentic to admit that our plan has always been to get a really good backup, invite them to speak, and hope a really "Big Name" surprises us. Look, if you don't shoot for the stars, you'll never hit an eagle (which, by the way, is illegal, unless you're in France).

For a true story, this month, we'll have Nate Larkin speak. Nate's book, "Samson and the Pirate Monks," is a must-read for every Christian man. He is a powerful speaker, and we're fortunate to have him. I take all the credit, and deserve none. About a year ago, Wes Hamilton gave me the Samson book. I read it, then bought five more for my sons, and some friends. About nine months ago, Wes said, "I've got a friend... do you want me to see if we can get Nate Larkin to speak?" I, being the brilliant leader that I am said, "Duh." About a month later, Wes said, "Nate will come but you need to call him." Three weeks later, Wes said, "Have you called Nate?" I finally called him, and he agreed to come.

This is the way everything happens at Man Church. Someone comes up with a great idea, and it happens in spite of me. God is funny that way. I get lots of credit, but about the only thing I do is stand up at Man Church and try to say something intelligant inteligent intellagant smart. It's not as easy at it looks.

We always wonder if men will actually show up, and are amazed when they do. Every month, guys show up earlier than me to cook burgers, set up tables, and generally get things done. The media team is AWESOME, and no one ever really sees them, but they are the reason we hear or see anything. Joel Warren and the Man Band talk, plan, practice, and do a great job.

Lance Chisholm has been a true hero. No one takes more time off, and invests more energy than Lance, and he is a true Man's Man. If one of us is most like Jesus, it's Lance Chisholm.

The communications department at LakePointe come up with designs and production of the t-shirts (we have a great one coming - bring $10 - you're gonna want one).

Come hear Nate Larkin this week, October 14. 6:00 p.m. burgers; 6:56 Man Church starts in the main auditorium of LakePointe Church, Rockwall, TX.

I received an email the other day that said, "We're from Austin, Texas, and would like to come to Man Church, but have looked everywhere on your website and cannot find where it is." Some things we take for granted (like where Man Church is), and appreciate outside friends reminding us to pull our heads out and actually give good information - like where Man Church is.

So, here it is...

First, Man Church is at the LakePointe Church building, located at 701 E Interstate 30, Rockwall, TX 75032. It's right on the frontage road of I-30 in Rockwall, between Ridge Rd and Hwy 205.

Once you get here, come to the EAST side of the building. Burgers are cooked on the EAST side, between the main building and the portables (see "1" on map). Once you get your burgers, you can go into the GYM (see "2") on map, and eat. Then, you can move into the main auditorium for Man Church (see "3"). If you drink too much ice tea, the closest men's room is just outside the main auditorium (see "4"). After Man Church, most men go into the parking lot to talk about it, or just stand around. We presume they are talking about what they just heard, and how they can put it into practice to become a better man, husband, father and follower of Jesus Christ. Some men just don't want to go home, yet. Whatever.

We hope you'll join us Wednesday, October 14 - 6:00 p.m. burgers; 6:56 Man Church.

Man Church needs four groups of volunteers:

1) We need 40 men who will wear a special Man Church t-shirt this weekend at LakePointe. It's white, and says, "What is a Pirate Monk" on the front, and "Find out at Man Church, October 14" on the back. The t-shirt is free IF you wear it to church this weekend. The first 40 to respond to gbeech@mac.com get them.

2) We need more burger cookers. We added a third grill, and need another 5 men this month. We're cooking 1,200 burgers and 800 hot dogs. We start at 4:00 p.m. If you can help, please contact me at gbeech@mac.com.

3) We need 30 guys to help serve food at the fall festival, Friday night, October 23rd. If you can help the Man Church concession stand, please let me know at gbeech@mac.com.

4) We need somewhere between 5 and 50 guys to help Mason Randall next week. Mason does so much for us, his wife is due with their first baby in a couple of weeks, and they are cleaning up one house and moving to another. Mason will let us know how many men he needs and when, but I'd really like for Man Church to come together and serve Mason in a huge reversal to the norm. If you'd help, please let me know at gbeech@mac.com.

Thanks! See you one week from tonight - October 14.

Check out the newest Man Church video (it's funny) at http://bit.ly/qThq6

What are you doing Wednesday night, October 14? Please check your calendar, and cancel whatever is on it. I'm not trying to be flippant about it, but cancel it right now and replace it with Man Church. I believe this Man Church will be the most important topic we've ever discussed, and we've brought in a first-class speaker from Tennessee (Nate Larkin, author of "Samson and the Pirate Monks" - a must read for every Christian man).

Now I know you've got little league football that night. Let them have the night off. They deserve it. You need this Man Church worse than they need one more night of you trying to be Vince Lombardi to a bunch of 11-year-olds. You're not Vince Lombardi, and they're not in the NFL (or NCAA, High School or even Jr High). I don't often say this, because I believe coaching your son's team is a great thing for you to be doing, but THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT. It's called priorities, my friend, and you need some.

Some of you have a business meeting. Can your business wait? We put so much emphasis on one meeting, or one trip or one obligation, that we miss the more important things in life. If you get sick with the flu, you can't go. You may be too spiritually sick to attend the meeting. Call in sick, and come to Man Church.

Some of you have dandruff, and are too ashamed to be seen in public. We don't care! Come anyway.

Some of you just really prefer making excuses. Wimps!

And a few of you really have a problem with porn, sexual sins, or other secret sins in your life, and you're afraid that God may call you to make a change. Well, don't be afraid, just come get ready to make a change. We're all sick, and you're not any sicker than the rest of us. Just come.

October 14. Wednesday. Free burgers at 6:00; Man Church at 6:56 p.m.

OK, for you who don't really know what Man Church is about, let me start with the serious stuff. We believe God is God - the one and only God. We believe Jesus is his son, God himself, who came to the earth from heaven, lived a while here, did miracles and taught ultimate truth, died to pay the price for our sins, then, from the grave, rose again, and now lives with God. He is our Lord, and our Savior. He cannot be one without the other. He cannot be just a good teacher - he's either who he says he is (God among us) or he's a lunatic, and we believe he's God. We believe after He left, He sent the third person of the Godhead - the Holy Spirit. The Spirit is God in our world - he lives is us, directing our steps, guiding us in all Godly ways, and moving in men to bring men closer to God.

We believe the church is the collection of God's people, spread out in the world, but as one in their love of God, and their desire that all should be saved. We believe the Bible is true - all of it. If it says it, we believe it. We believe the Bible is the primary way in which God talks to us, and that it is "alive and active," meaning that it can change our lives if we just listen. Want to talk to God? Pray - he'll listen. Want to hear God talk to you? Read the Bible.

We believe all are equal, and all are loved by God. Man is not better than women - just different. Ok, ladies. If you insist on reading this, just go right ahead, but don't call us sexist, 'cause the rest of this should be taken in the context of the previous statement, which will be repeated: All are equal in God's sight. Men are no better than women in God sight, nor in ours. Frankly, we love you, and appreciate you and how you make us better. Men were meant to lead. We have not done enough of that lately, and we apologize.

We believe that one can be a male without being a man. To be a man, one must:

1) Reject Passivity;

2) Accept Responsibility;

3) Lead Courageously;

4) Expect God's Reward for a job well done.

We believe that our natural self is sinful. We are selfish, egotistical, insecure. We are filled with greed, lust and a quest for power. We want to be self-sufficient, but recognize this is the opposite of that God wants. So, we find ourself in a constant struggle to live for God, and deny our natural urges. This is not easy. We relate to Brennan Manning's great work, "The Ragamuffin Gospel" (if you have not read this, do it today).

We believe a lot more stuff, but if you want to know it all, just read the Bible - it's all in there.

There are other things we hold dear (that sounds really serious, like the Constitution or something). This stuff isn't really biblical, but it works, so we like it. We love humor. We like to be funny. Lots of "religion" is serious. Lots of "religious" people are just sticks in the mud. We're not. We don't take ourselves too seriously, and don't mind laughing at ourself or each other. What's the big deal, anyway? Are some things serious? Absolutely. Are all things serious? No.

We believe we should be honest about who we are, what we're dealing with, and how to handle it. For way too long, church people have put on nice clothes, said all the right words, and tried to fake it. Faking it doesn't work. Better to say, "I've got real trouble," and deal with it, than try to hide it. Women wear make up to cover blemishes. That whole concept isn't manly, so we try to do the opposite.

We love sex. Yes, we said it. Sex is one of the best things God ever created. It is meant to be between a married man and his wife. No one else. That's not politically correct, but it's true. And we have to remind ourselves of this one fact often, because our mind (and other body parts) considers sex to be good with anyone. We don't - we just want to enjoy it with our wives.

We're going to end it here - we believe a lot of other things, too, but aren't you tired of reading? So our final belief is this: finish strong, but finish. Get started on time (we start 4:00 minutes early, just as a matter of principal, and we finish by 8:30 (we have never finished after 8:15). We can say all we can say in a limited amount of time, so why belabor the point. Mark Twain (or someone like that) said, "You can say anything in an hour. If you work long enough, you can say the same thing in five minutes." OK, he said something like that, but I don't have time to look for the quote, so, goodbye.

Oct 14: Nate Larkin, Author of, "Samson and Pirate Monks" (a must read for every man).

We're about to have a meeting on how to promote the October Man Church. We're bringing in the one speaker we've been trying to get for three years - Nate Larkin, author of "Samson and the Pirate Monks." This book is a must read for all Christian men, especially those who struggle with sexual issues (hence, all Christian men).

We'll come up with lots of really good ideas, but the truth is that we need you, Man Church men to invite your friends. We need a grass-roots effort to get men to come. That's what Man Church is - a grass-roots effort, and this is no different.

So, say whatever you want...something like "Hey, porn-head, you need to come with me to Man Church this month," or "Hey, free-loader, you get free burgers at Man Church. Yes, I said it - FREE."

Whatever you say, invite your friends. They will not be disappointed, they will love what Nate Larkin has to say.

Here's a fair warning: Nate is direct. Nate tells his story with bold honesty, and speaks to the heart of the issue. He will give us a very clear word on how to fix the problems. Like every Man Church this year, we will have a Question and Answer time at the end. I hope you'll be there, and invite your friends this time.

Over 950 men met at LakePointe for the first MAN CHURCH of season 3. Steve Stroope's theme was "Make a Splash," where he talked about our need to "get out of the boat." If you want to hear it, audio will be available in a week or so. At the end, we had a time for Q&A. It was "wheels off," but nothing out of the ordinary for Man Church. The one question I did not have time to read: "ARE THOSE YOUR SWIM TRUNKS, OR YOUR BOXERS?" Sorry I missed that one.

Man Church is awesome. It is so authentic. It is real. We (when I say, "we," I mean probably 50 or so men who have input, make decisions, and generally help make it what it is) do a great job of making it a place that is never fake. We say what is on our mind (even if we probably shouldn't - you know what I'm talking about). I'd say it's "NO B.S.," but we can't even say that any more.

The "Man Band" was so good. Man, it was great to worship my God, and the music was so loud I could not hear myself. That's the way we like it at Man Church. We want to sing, but we ONLY want God to hear us. Frankly, I don't want anyone to hear me, and I certainly don't want anyone to hear me. So, we turn the audio up on purpose.

It was nice to have two pro's with us - Danny Davis helped Joel and the Man Band with music, and Wes Hartley (King of all Media), helped the media team with the new sound system.

Lance and the burger-cookers cooked over 1,200 pieces of meat! Man meat. Burgers with cheese and bread. Hot Dogs - lots of them (no tellin' what's in those things, but they sure are good). We had NO LEFTOVERS - MAN STYLE.

We like to beat our chests and talk about how "manly" we are. The truth is that Man Church is not about how manly we are. It's about how weak we are. We are weak, and stupid, and unprepared, and stupid, and stupid. We do things we don't want to do. We say things we wish we didn't. We think things that embarrass even us. But we want to do right, and we want to be leaders, and we want to make a difference. Above all, we want to make a difference. So, we come to Man Church to learn how to make a difference.

Steve started the process with his charge: GET OUT OF YOUR BOAT. If you missed it, I beg you to check the www.lpmanchurch.com site and listen to what he said. He was so "on" it is silly.

We had our first Q&A. This is the big change this year. Each month, we'll give you a chance to ask the speaker a question. This helps us make sure every message is relevant. We answered as many as we could, and Steve will send me his answers to the ones we did not ask. Check back - the next post to this blog will be his answers to the questions asked but not answered.

Thanks to so many - especially Lance Chisholm, Russ Childers, Brad Lamberth, Barry Luff and Mason Randall. If you see one of these three, please thank them. They are the unsung heros of Man Church. I (Greg B) get lots of thanks, but they are the ones who make it happen.

Check back often. I will blog at least twice a week. At least one of those will be funny (I define what humor is, so you can be the judge).

September 2, 2009 * 3:33 p.m. * Rockwall, TX * This just in: Man Church is under siege. The women of the Lake Ray Hubbard have compiled a grass-roots petition to change critical parts of Man Church. The petition says: "We the women of Rockwall, Heath, Rowlett, Fate, McLendon-Chisholm, Forney, Mesquite, Garland, Royce City, Greenville, Terrell and College Station, Texas insist on the following changes to Man Church:

1. Man Church should be held every Wednesday. Trust us - you men need it.

2. Man Church must serve fruits and vegetables. Burgers and chips are just not healthy.

3. Man Church must insist on a minimum wardrobe standard. You use the word, "church" so you should dress like you're in church - not just coming off the golf course.

4. Man Church should do that, "How to be Better Husbands" lesson every time.

5. Man Church should watch your language. We've heard enough "fart" jokes without your help.

6. Man Church should invite women. How do we really know what you're doing in there?

7. Man Church should have a twitter. Everyone should have a twitter.

8. Man Church should play back reruns of Oprah to see what women really want.

9. Man Church should be on Monday nights - you're gonna get together for football anyway, so just combine the two.

10. Man Church should be run by a woman, so it's done RIGHT!

SIGNED, THESE INTERESTED AND INSISTING LADIES.

The petition was signed by 8 women, who apparently used fictitious names. They do, however, appear to be the wives of the men in one particular small group. Dave Conway said, "I know that's my wife - she's been saying that for two years." When Dave's wife was contacted, she said, "I don't know what you're talking about, so you'll have to call Sheila Murphy - it was all her idea.

Leadership at LakePointe Church says they will seriously discuss these and other changes. Says a pastor who asked for anonymity as he was unauthorized to speak on behalf of the church, "Heck ya, we're paying attention! We remember the last time ladies had a good idea that we ignored, and missed out on that huge watermelon cooking contest idea." The official church spokesman declined comment.

Any and all changes will be announced at Man Church in September. 9/9/9 is the date, 6:00 burgers; 7:00 start.

(serious note: none of this came from LakePointe or anyone on LakePointe's staff. I'm just a Man Church guy, and will probably lose this blogging privilege if I keep going like this. That's the plan anyway). GB

Man Church starts one week from today. 9/9/9 is the date. That's easy to remember, especially for a nine year old. Or, someone who is named "nine." Anyway, just remember that Man Church is always the second Wednesday of every month. Except December. And March. And of course we don't do the summer. But other than December, March and the summer, it's the second Wednesday of every month. You should go to www.LPManChurch.com for info.

This year, we are going to push ourselves. We're going to push ourselves to take another step in our spiritual walk. We're going to push ourselves to greater acts of service. We're going to push ourselves to stronger spiritual leadership in our homes. We're going to push ourselves to greater outreach. We like to say Man Church is "Extra Stout." Not because it sounds like a beer commercial, but because this year will be "Extra Stout." This isn't church for wimps. Man Church will push you like spiritual two-a-days.

OK, we'll try to be funny, too. But pushing men to be strong is a lot easier than making men laugh. It's just the way we're wired. Oh, well, we'll do our best to be balanced.

Same drill this year - burgers at 6:00, Man Church at 7:00. See you 9/9/9.