September 2, 2009 * 3:33 p.m. * Rockwall, TX * This just in: Man Church is under siege. The women of the Lake Ray Hubbard have compiled a grass-roots petition to change critical parts of Man Church. The petition says: "We the women of Rockwall, Heath, Rowlett, Fate, McLendon-Chisholm, Forney, Mesquite, Garland, Royce City, Greenville, Terrell and College Station, Texas insist on the following changes to Man Church:
1. Man Church should be held every Wednesday. Trust us - you men need it.
2. Man Church must serve fruits and vegetables. Burgers and chips are just not healthy.
3. Man Church must insist on a minimum wardrobe standard. You use the word, "church" so you should dress like you're in church - not just coming off the golf course.
4. Man Church should do that, "How to be Better Husbands" lesson every time.
5. Man Church should watch your language. We've heard enough "fart" jokes without your help.
6. Man Church should invite women. How do we really know what you're doing in there?
7. Man Church should have a twitter. Everyone should have a twitter.
8. Man Church should play back reruns of Oprah to see what women really want.
9. Man Church should be on Monday nights - you're gonna get together for football anyway, so just combine the two.
10. Man Church should be run by a woman, so it's done RIGHT!
SIGNED, THESE INTERESTED AND INSISTING LADIES.
The petition was signed by 8 women, who apparently used fictitious names. They do, however, appear to be the wives of the men in one particular small group. Dave Conway said, "I know that's my wife - she's been saying that for two years." When Dave's wife was contacted, she said, "I don't know what you're talking about, so you'll have to call Sheila Murphy - it was all her idea.
Leadership at LakePointe Church says they will seriously discuss these and other changes. Says a pastor who asked for anonymity as he was unauthorized to speak on behalf of the church, "Heck ya, we're paying attention! We remember the last time ladies had a good idea that we ignored, and missed out on that huge watermelon cooking contest idea." The official church spokesman declined comment.
Any and all changes will be announced at Man Church in September. 9/9/9 is the date, 6:00 burgers; 7:00 start.
(serious note: none of this came from LakePointe or anyone on LakePointe's staff. I'm just a Man Church guy, and will probably lose this blogging privilege if I keep going like this. That's the plan anyway). GB
0 comments:
Post a Comment